Whoever teaches his son teaches not only his son but also his son’s son, and so on to the end of generations.
-Hebrew Proverb
We all know the world can be cruel, but it is what it is. Human civilization has evolved from the need to feed to complex social hierarchies based on established financial standings. Social and economical class systems were and are shaped to protect and limit equal access to wealth. Racism, Sexism, religious persecution, and any other form of bigotry and hatred are in my opinion fueled by economic stratification and tricked down to the common masses who unfortunately know no better. Even with its own social hierarchies America has been known as the land of opportunity and has been fueled by the “make it better for my children and grandchildren” model. America was and still is the place where a person with only a shirt on his back and two English words on his tongue can escape his previous rank in the social order and make a better life for his family. He can beat the system and change fate. However, no journey upward is undemanding and without unrestrained natural competition and complications. Competition is the living breathing world and cannot be prevented or sidestepped. Conflict and chaos will occur, how you handle yourself defines you as a human being. The weak fail – the strong survive and prosper whether in an established social order or in a new liberated kingdom. The game of softball and the world of sport is an instinctive reflection of this natural selection process. As Sharron Backus, former head coach of UCLA, and one of the greatest coaches in softball history would say, “the cream will rise to the top.”
Every pressing parental instinct commands a parent to provide and protect their child from the unpleasant faces of humanity and/or compensate for their child’s weaknesses. True unselfish parental strength and love lies in ones ability to let their child handle their own encounters and failures with the insightful understanding the experience will teach them survival skills necessary as civilized adults. If a parent’s finest love does more to shield than prepare their child from contest, conflict, and possible failure, no America can ever be earned or internally enjoyed by the efforts of their child. How can one own the confidence and pride of the “win” if they have never genuinely coped with defeat or simply fought through their own battles?
Any successful coach will tell you the best players are the ones who can think and make decisions on their own. Coaching travel ball is worlds away from coaching college. However one important component of successful team competition crosses the level lines. In general, players do not understand the importance of communication and the details of effective field communication. Believe it or not, it took us four months to simply call the ball at the 14U level. Why? After many hours of probing and reflection the answer came to light. Communication involves more than the vocal chords and air. Our players did not have the maturity and self-confidence to think independently. Nor did I have the support of the parents of the players who were having the most difficulty.
Players must have the ability to make quick decisions, know their strengths and weaknesses, and take the lead without doubt and hesitation. Also, they must know and trust the decision-making abilities of their teammates. They must also be in an environment where error is viewed as the ultimate learning process and the players are not penalized for making the wrong decision, rather they are reprimanded for making no decision at all. I am sure there is some underlining gender issue involved here, but I will save this for another blog. Unfortunately many coaches at the travel ball level do not have the experience to understand their most powerful teaching tool is trial and error, how to effectively use this to prepare the players mentally, and the insight to identify long-term growth and development vs. an immediate outcome. I believe some parents have learned to mirror the expectations of the damaged amateur coaching system to safeguard their child’s success. This is all they know.
It became evident the players I inherited came from programs where decision making was not a priority. I asked one of my players why she had so much difficulty calling for the ball and why she never attacked the ground balls up the middle. Her honest answer enthralled me and threw me into a shock of disbelief. Her previous travel ball coach assigned zones for each defensive position. Players were to only cover their assigned zones. They were reprimanded if they ever ventured out of their allocated territory and immediately benched if they ever dove for a ball up the middle. I don’t know if the coach honestly believed this was the way the game should be played, or if he devised a quick fix solution to a communication problem he did not know or didn’t care to solve.
If you get a chance to watch out team play this year, watch closely and see how they communicate non-verbally with head shakes, hand signals, and eye contact. Then close your eyes and listen. You will hear a distinct and mature team voice. They inform each other of their position on the field, the speed of the batter/runner, the innings, the outs, and the count. The outfielders communicate the depth of the hit to the other outfielders, when and where to cut the ball, the primary and then secondary play. Players tell each other when to dive, who has the bag, where the back-up is positioned, and how close a player is to the fence in foul territory. Anything and everything you can think of… THEY TALK…THEY MAKE GOOD DECISIONS. They encourage and praise one another. Most notably, when there is an error or lapse in performance, watch and listen to how they come together and make adjustments on their own and all take the blame.